The real problem.

You have all heard me rant, vent & otherwise b*tch about my #shittyinlaws. It's funny, but it also hurts. A lot. Especially because I consistently feel like The Yankee sides with them over me. Defends their actions instead of trying to see how their actions make me feel. I never thought that his parents would love me even a tenth as much as they love him. (For the record, my parents do love The Yankee like he is their own. It is amazing to watch their relationship. It makes me nauseous with envy.) I also never thought that these people would treat me like a leper, critically misinterpret everything I say and do or lack the interpersonal skills to deal with conflicts like mature adults. I also didn't plan for the conflicts they would cause in my marriage and how alienated I would feel from my own husband because of their shit words and actions. I just didn't plan for that. I mean, I wasn't marrying into the Barone family, right?


I think that is the real problem for me. Sure, they spend a ton of time kissing The Yankee's ass and chapping mine, but at the end of the day I don't have to go to bed with my #shittyinlaws. (Thank the good Lord for that.) I go to bed with The Yankee and on days (or weeks) when there has been conflict with the #shittyinlaws, our bedroom is tense. Like, cut the air and serve it as a bitter pound cake, tense. The tension is not caused by the absurd, asinine & otherwise hurtful things my #shittyinlaws do, say or imply. It is caused by feeling like I suffer alone while The Yankee condones or at the very least, ignores their behavior.


Call me naive, but when I got married I thought that vow made us a family. A me-before-all-others, us-against-the-world, family. I didn't realize that there was an asterisk for his family. I didn't realize that it was alright for him to leave me feeling abused because the hatred came from his parents. I expected that we would disagree in private, but I thought that he would have my back anywhere else. I expected that he would stand up for me when I was being attacked, directly or not. I thought that he would never dream of standing by while someone belittled, disparaged or otherwise insulted his wife, but that is exactly how I feel time and time again. I guess that is what I get for having expectations.


I know The Yankee loves me. I believe he wants me to be happy. I believe that he doesn't want to see me suffer or crumble under the weight of his parents actions. What I don't know is why he doesn't see fit to put those desires into actions. Why he doesn't feel it is his place to say "STOP TREATING MY WIFE LIKE THIS" as many times as is necessary to get the point across. I might never know, but I do know how his silence & inaction makes me feel: like sh*t.


I guess that is a win for the #shittyinlaws.